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Compiled by
Randy Willingham, D. Min

             I remember and can never forget his honest struggle as an incredibly gifted man told me about an earlier time in his life when he gave into sexual sin. Repeatedly. Again, and again, did he yield to a growing appetite of his body. Eventually, he was enslaved.
            Some call it addiction. Others call it sin. A few say it is sin and addiction. Some say it is an addiction that is like any other disease. Others nuance their terms and say it is a “disease of choice.” I say it is slavery to sin. Of course it is addictive. Of course it alters the brain. So does jogging or lifting weights. 
            My friend wanted so badly to stop acting out. He had gone through a time of affair after affair as he travelled from place to place doing what others considered to be very respectable business. His own wife was totally unaware of his double life. He had become a pro at playing a hypocrite. He didn’t want to be a hypocrite. He just slipped into it. It was almost as though he woke up to it. He realized he was a hypocrite and then began living consistently with his beliefs about himself.
             I don’t doubt his desire to stop his sinful behavior. I also don’t doubt his inability to control his various forms of acting out. He was caught in a battle with himself. One part of him wanting to stop and another part did not want to stop. He was self-medicating in many ways and his sin allowed him to avoid deeper pain. He was also torn as his desires and commitments pressured him to change his behavior but his expectation and assumptions pressured him to try halfhearted. He intended to change; he just expected that he wouldn’t.
            Again, I don’t doubt his deepest desire. He did not get caught but he did turn himself in even though that risked his job, risked his marriage, and guaranteed humiliation. Years after he made his sin known he pushed me to make sure that I encouraged people with sin problems not to admit them publicly. He was burned and became confident that people would not be able to forgive as God is capable of forgiving.
            He lost what he did not have to loose. The church lost a motivated servant. I wish so badly he would have had access to competent, loving, and spiritually based caregivers. At the end of these materials I want to offer a devotional reflection for anyone struggling with sexual sin.  I hope you know. There is hope.


A Caution
Bethesda Workshops
Claudia Black
Confidential Caregiver
Institute for Sexual Wholeness
Joe Dallas and Genesis Counseling
Pure Heart Vision Reading Reflections
The Mouse Trap
Devotional: God’s Humility & Grace

A Caution:

     If you go through the webinars on your own it is very important that you do so while connecting with a caregiver as a sidebar conversation. The person whom you engage needs to be someone who understands enough to have a non-patronizing compassion but needs to understand enough to challenge your capacity for self-deception.

     If you reach out to someone and learn that they have the same battle you have do not continue leaning on that person! If they have had the battle in the past but are victorious at the level of what Changing for Good (see earlier reference to our Reading Reflections) calls the “termination” stage then this person could be excellent.

This person needs to have certain characteristics such as the following:

  • Someone you have not connected to in the past 
  • Can keep a confidence 
  • Good judgment 
  • Awareness of the power of shame and guilt 
  • Free with long term “fruits of repentance” 
  • Caring tenacity to follow-up on conversations 
  • Not only freedom from legalism but needs a deep awareness of the power and healing of God’s grace

     If you go through the material by yourself you may become more absorbed in the behavior and things could get worse. If you connect with a person who is not currently bearing the fruit of true purity then things could get worse.

Bethesda Workshops

     Many resources are offered by this group in Nashville, Tennessee. They are a ministry of the Woodmont Hills Family of God. They are a faith based group who has attempted to integrate the typical models of shame, addiction, and recovery into approaches that work. They will be expensive for ministers but will work with you on finding what is needed if you are serious about healing. Their web site has a lot of useful information.

Click here

 Claudia Black

     Claudia Black is a world renowned expert in addiction and has been very helpful to one we know personally. Her web site is loaded with useful information. She is helpful both to people struggling in various addictions as well as helping caregivers to provide better care. She has not been spiritually focused but her work has grown out of her own painful background. Additionally, she had a conversation with one of my friends who has successfully assisted many find freedom from addictions in which he described his view of the addiction cycle. She told him he left out grace and that without grace the cycle could not be broken. He is a minister so he was surprised to hear her push him on that reality. He speaks very highly of her. She has informed much of what he has done as well as helped him personally.


Harding University

Harding University

Harding University


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